Today Iām going to share with you how I overcame my overwhelming sense of inadequacy and my habit of settling for mediocrity. And if youāre like me then how you can too.
I had a bad habit of self pity and I didnāt even realise. I felt crushed by everyone elseās successes and unable to do the right thing and celebrate them with those people.
This is a deadly trap for the mind. It robs you and others of the elation and joy you should feel for seeing success even if itās not yours.
People who were like me and suffer from this struggle to change this mindset because theyāre unable to accept themselves and where they are now.
If you cannot appreciate the success of others then you are doomed to a life of misery
Today weāre going to cover:
If youāre like me you probably saw this amazing event š
The tower has caught the rocket!!
pic.twitter.com/CPXsHJBdUhā Elon Musk (@elonmusk)
October 13, 2024
And thought āwow, I suck!ā
At least, that was my initial reaction. This is my reactive mindset kicking in.
This is my bad habit of feeling self pity and inadequate.
I used to really battle with it, but do you know what I do now? I embrace it!
You see thoughts, feelings and emotions are like waves in a stormy sea, the more you try to fight them the worse it gets.
Itās better to take the path of mindfulness and listen to our thoughts, feel our emotions and then let them pass.
We canāt control our thoughts or our emotions, theyāre instinctive and reactionary.
We can only change what thoughts and feeling emerge from changing our mindset and giving ourselves time.
The most common emotions connected to feeling inadequate or mediocre include:
To escape the feeling of inadequacy we must change our mindset first.
This is easier said then done but it can be done. The one thing I learned during my struggle is that I had all the information. I had read books and listened to others.
Why was I still suffering? Because I didnāt believe it. I didnāt embrace it.
Thereās knowing and then thereās believing. Theyāre not always aligned.
You have to believe that someone elseās success does not equal you failure.
You are two different people on different paths.
Appreciate the present and what you have now.
You once said youād be happy if you got to where you are today.
Like the famous Bruce Lee quote:
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
- Bruce Lee
We are always growing, changing and adapting.
Weāre the result of a millennia of evolution.
Be like water. Realise that you can adapt, change and become what you want to be.
It might not be easy but you can if you focus and strive towards it.
There is only one of you in this world.
There will be more people ālikeā you but there is uniquely only one of you.
You past experiences, upbringing, culture, language, interests, hobbies and more make you who you are.
You have value in this world. You are worth more than you realise.
Nobody has walked the path you have.
Your past alone is valuable in itself even if it might not seem like it.
Use it to your advantage. Use it to create something nobody else will.
I want you to describe what an ideal version of yourself looks like.
Donāt think about how realistic it is or achievable it might be (but donāt be silly like becoming a Super Saiyan or something).
And really be honest with what kind of person you want to be.
The entrepreneurial image is one people often flock to but honestly, it isnāt for everyone otherwise everyone would be one.
If you know what your ideal self looks like then you should be able to write down what things that visionary persona does and doesnāt do.
If you find yourself doing things now that the vision doesnāt then simply stop doing them. And vice versa for things youāre arenāt doing.
The biggest changes are in the things we stop doing.
With that list of actions highlight the most important thing that persona does above all else.
Youāll find thereās lots of things you could and should be doing but one activity will outweigh the benefits of all the others combined when given the focus.
Itās also important to block out all external noise that disrupts this one activity.
The more time you spend doing the one activity that matters the more progress youāll make and the more confidence youāll start to build in yourself.
Remove the distractions and one day youāll find yourself achieving the things you want and someone else will be looking up at you in your old place.
Striving for excellence in one thing will bring you more joy and peace of mind than anything else.
Itās easy to end up average: you are interested in everything, get distracted by everything, never commit to anything, and the years pass, and you do a lot of things, but never stick to anything long enough to get rewarded.
ā Orange Book šš (@orangebook_)
December 17, 2023
Embracing emotions is difficult and changing our mindset takes time.
I know because I still struggle from time to time.
If you really struggle to handle it then remove external sources that raise these feelings.
Unfollow that one person who makes you feel small. Delete Twitter, Instagram and YouTube if itās getting you down.
But really if you follow the steps above you should be inspired by those around you.
Going back to the start with the SpaceX tweet and one of the most amazing feats of engineering ever achieved.
Be inspired, use it as fuel to power yourself towards who you want to be and not wishing you were in someone elseās shoes.
If youāre struggling with a lack of confidence and feeling of self-worth then I hope my experience has helped you.
The green eyed monster rears itās head from time to time but Iām aware of it. And using the steps mentioned above Iām much better at dealing with the feeling of inadequacy.
Youāre not inadequate, thereās only one of you in the whole world and you can become that which you strive for.
Thanks again š
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